Same-Sex Marriage

By Stephen M. Golden

Copyright © March 11, 2012


Advocates of "same-sex marriage" claim that not allowing two people of the same sex to marry is unfair, discriminatory, and even unconstitutional.  They believe it is unfair discrimination against them in the same way that blacks were denied their civil rights in the past.  However, that claim is both false and disingenuous. 


Homosexual men and lesbian women have always had the same right to marry as heterosexuals.  Men have the right to marry any woman who will have them.  Women have the right to marry any man who will have them.  There is complete equality.  It is completely fair.  There is no unfair discrimination.  Nevertheless, what these advocates want is not fairness and equality.  What they want is a creation of new special rights.  They want to re-define marriage.


The unclear mind might say, "I think a person ought to have the right to marry whomever they love," and believe they have made a compassionate, intelligent, and noble statement.  However, such a person has failed to comprehend the reality of marriage and lives on the edge of a virtual fantasy world. 


In the forefront, there are complications to such a statement.  Such reasoning can quickly degenerate into absurdity. 

• What if a man loves two women, three women, or even more?  Why should marriage be limited to only two people?  Should we condone multiple partners in marriage? 

• What if one wishes to marry a sister or brother?  One might contend that such could lead to health problems in the children.  It wouldn't if one of them were infertile, or if they were the same sex.  Besides, if they love each other, it would be unfair to not allow it, right?

• What if one wishes to marry his or her father or mother?  I mean, if they love each other…

• Do they need to be adults?  What if a High School teacher wants to marry one of her sophomore students?  Why not?  Maybe she could marry them all.

• Why limit it to humans?  If a person loves his or her dog (or a sheep for that matter), shouldn't he or she be allowed to marry it?  I know.  Ice Cream.  If a person loves ice cream, shouldn't that person be allowed to marry it? 

Now we've reduced marriage to the first-grade humor level, but I think my point is made.  Even a first grader knows marriage is more than a feeling you have with someone or something you love.  Marriage means something.  We have to understand what marriage is.


Marriage is NOT simply a commitment between two people who love each other.   It is a moral reality.  Marriage exists outside the constructs of any governmental authority.  It exists whether a governmental authority recognizes it or not.  It cannot be changed by laws a governmental authority might pass.  It is like the relationship between parents and children.  A law cannot change the reality that a person is someone's son or daughter, father or mother.


What is marriage?

Whether the secularists and atheists among us like it or not, marriage was established by God as One man, One woman, United together for life.  (Genesis 2:24; Malachi 2:15; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31)  Nothing else is marriage.  It's something else. 


In fact, many people think marriage is a ceremony in which two people make a promise to each other.  A wedding.  Marriage is NOT a wedding.  In the Jewish tradition of Jesus' day, the marriage ceremony itself was when the man went to the woman's father's house, and took her, with the father's blessing, into his own home.  There was a time of discretion.  Then there was a celebration.  As the tradition developed into more recent times, as part the marriage celebration, the man takes the woman into another room and consummates the marriage, often bringing out evidence of the consummation to those at the marriage celebration.  It was this consummation that constituted marriage.


In God's eyes, two people are not married upon completion of a wedding ceremony.  They are married when they unite.  This is likely the origin of the Jewish tradition mentioned above.  When a man and a woman unite sexually, in God's eyes, they are married.  This may come as a shock to many Christians who have had sexual relations at some time in their lives with someone who is not their spouse.  Yes, in God's eyes, you are married to that person.  That's why many people are confused about God's statements on adultery.  We have created our own definitions and terminology.  We have this concept of "sex outside of marriage" and call it fornication.  For God, "sexual relations outside of marriage" is impossible.  Therefore, the first person with whom you have a sexual relation is your spouse; subsequent relations are adultery.  You become "one" with whomever you have united your body. (1 Corinthians 5:16)


Now that we have a clearer understanding of what marriage is, you should now be able to understand why "same-sex marriage" is impossible.  A man cannot unite with a man; a woman cannot unite with a woman.  To pretend that they can is a farce. 


If I have two garden hoses and I take a male end and a female end (there is a good reason they are called male and female), and properly join them together, they are united together; they are "married."  If I take the two male ends or the two female ends, it is impossible to unite them together.  They cannot be "married."


For the governmental authority to recognize "same-sex marriage," they are simply obscuring the moral reality of marriage.  It's like duct-taping two male ends or two female ends of a garden hose together. 


To pretend that there can be such a thing as "same-sex marriage" flies in the face of reality.  It is lunacy.  It is impossible.